Happy 20th Birthday

I am so proud of you, and I hope you are so proud of yourself! You’re kind, brave and curious! You’re patient, thoughtful and brilliant. You’re competitive and never settle for less than first. I love the life you are creating for yourself and I hope you keep surrounding yourself with amazing people, new ideas, and personal goals that you crush over and over again. Save all these special memories in your heart! You’re careful to share and always speak thoughtfully and deliberately. I want to be more like you! I love you with my whole heart and I always will.

I treasure those first 4 1/2 years of your life when you were an only child. I loved heading to swim class, the playground and library story time with just you and me. Your heart and hair has been kissed by flames. I hope you carry that passion into everything you do!

And now you live in another city and have a rental house and internship on top of your busy life as a student athlete. I love having a sneak peak into your friendships when I get to see your teammates share in an exciting race.

I have everything and nothing to tell you. I am always carrying you in my heart as you balance all these feelings and come to terms with all of life’s paradoxes.

Thanks for making me a mom! I love you with my whole heart Michael, and I always will! Happiest of Birthdays!

2022 thoughts

The last few years were rough. We lost a lot of good people… Including RBG and Betty and even Winter the Dolphin.

Can we all just agree to collectively protect (pray/think/send good energy, etc) our Global Treasures (in no particular order):

Jane Goodall
Sylvia Earle
Bill Nye
Garth Brooks

Paul McCartney
Tom Hanks
Elton John
Jordan Klepper
David Attenborough

Dolly Parton
Michael J Fox
Dr. Fauci

Jimmy Carter

Thanks. Amen.

2024 additions 💕Paul Rudd, Snoop Dog, Keanu Reeves, Steve Kerr, Barack Obama …

road trip

I headed out with my precious Starbucks PSL and hit the road on a rare, precious Friday vacation day. The changing of the leaves and puffy white clouds in the sky were the beautiful backdrop to some much needed alone time. As podcasts entertained and enlightened me, I gazed at the bold red barns and chipping white paint of the open land. I experienced all the weather from the upper 30’s and rain to 65 and sunny in my 24 hours.
I made it to the top of Granddad Bluff and envied the soaring hawk. And at the bottom stopped for a Spotted Cow, where a local hopped off his barstool to serve me my $3 beer, because the bartender was off buying some cigarettes. I walked along the Mississippi River and saw Amazon delivery drivers with dogs in their front seat, and wondered why don’t they all bring their dogs to work?
I arrived at my destination, to see the fastest NCAA Division III ginger in Wisconsin run cross country.
I slept in a giant king bed, alone; after warming up in the sauna, soaking in the jetted tub and sipping on a glass of wine.
I love how your brain works on roadtrips, I woke up at 4:30am Saturday to drive home and by 8am after I kept seeing signs for Five Guys and was intensely craving a burger, and had to convince myself they weren’t open yet, even though it felt like nearly lunchtime.
I had a lovely, relaxing, 24-hr break. It was just what I needed. Thanks universe for making this happen!

birthdays are complicated

I have some friends who claim to have anxiety…and they’re not at all empathetic to me sharing that I feel anxious about being the center of attention on my birthday. I feel unworthy of birthday presents and celebrations.

Their response to me vulnerably sharing that was to gossip, complain, and spread rumors about to me to our mutual friends (at a dinner on my actual birthday by the way).

I really did try and have an adult conversation. I brought it up, in person, a month before my birthday, and asked to not receive birthday gifts this year. They said “how about going out to dinner instead, with no gifts” which I agreed to (and it never happened). I got up enough strength to share my truth. And I only said something to this group of friends because I hope they’d understand and respect my wishes. (Or at least tell me the truth that they already went shopping!).

But apparently I need to apologize again, for hurting someone’s feelings.
Even though what they did was go against my wishes and disrespect my boundaries…
Which is why I needed to write this down and tell the universe.
So I can officially let it go!
If this should ever happen again, I’ll throw the present(s) away, like I’ve been doing for years anyway… to save the drama and hurt feelings. And we can all just happily lie to each other forever.

life check-up

I’ve been to the eye doc, mammogram, physical check ups — but how am I emotionally and intellectually? What are my most important values? How am I learning? How are my goals and beliefs evolving? What are my next steps?

BE KIND

Regardless of disagreements or differences

BE BRAVE

Stick up for people who have no voice

Apologize when you’re wrong

Intentionally seek truth, even if it’s hard or shines you in a bad light

BE CURIOUS

Always learning.

growth = life

I believe God/Jesus is a symbol/message/parable of how life = love & light – growing and connecting.

But…Religion is just a way to control behavior.

FLOW

Align

Be water. Drink water.

Don’t be ice or vapor (fixed or melting)

Don’t be too rigid or cold

Don’t be too moldable or influenceable

Let go of your racing thoughts bouncing around.

Be flexible but strong

Come back to center — be you!

Reflect the light

Make waves when necessary

Be ok with circles like a lake – I don’t need anyone in my corner, just appreciate the circle. Open the circle, and all become one like a candle and a flame.

What is a Life?

When you compare the life of a bug that lives for a day, or a tree who lives for hundreds of years, or a star who lives for millions of years … to human life, the definition of LIFE can either be long or short.

Birth is the opposite of Death. But Love and Life go on and on.

Are humans the only creatures who contemplate where we came from and why are we here? We might just be a blip on the universe’s radar. We might never know, but maybe consciousness began with us?

I think love started with other animals; but love continues on through evolution and within us.

We wouldn’t be here without the components of STARS so maybe were all part of one magnificent stardust lifecycle?

Humans can experience grief & love & memories & dreams. Is that how we are all connected? Is that how we live on?

What is a life?

And yes, I attended my third funeral this month and two more coming right up, so I’ve been thinking a lot about life and death … please grant me grace.

Rest in Peace. Rest in Love. Rest in Light.
Jeramy, Kitty, Kristen, Jean and Bruce.

In the brilliant words of Mary Oliver
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” 

7 years, 3 months, 24 days

“How’s Work?”

When asked my least favorite conversation starter… “How’s work?” I usually reply with a countdown to retirement.

But I’m on vacation this week and I feel no stress. I’m meeting with my sister, my nephew, lovely friends, and today I even woke up late without an alarm. And it really feels like I’m retired.

And the reason I don’t retire today? Money of course.

But money is just a tool, not the end goal.

So I challenged myself to look at my life, how would I live it if I was retired? And why can’t I fit more of those joys into my life now while I’m still working?

I would have more time …

I want to have real conversations with real people but I need my people to be available too … and I think we all do a pretty good job at keeping our relationships a priority. I always gravitate to friends with chipped nail polish, flip flop tan lines and smile lines. Not the fake ones with perfect weekly manicures, monthly hair appointments and a new car every year.

I would spend as much time as I could IN and ON water, but that is also more fun with friends!

I would: Listen to Crashing Waves and Campfire Crackles. Watch the Sunrise and Sunset. Spread joy like contagious Baby Giggles. Sit under the shade of an Oak Tree. And just generally live in WONDER like how the “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” rendition sung by Harry Carey is still played at Wrigley, as if he had eternal life. I would Read, Write, Reflect, Meditate, Run, Walk, Hike… What does your retirement dream look like?

8 shots

Our little family of 4 has received all 8 of our special COVID-19 vaccinations as of today. I am so grateful for the scientists, first responders, front line workers and everyone who has gotten us this far. I don’t take it lightly that some countries are still struggling with this disease … I am truly amazed and thankful.

I also thought it would be a fun time to share some silly writing that I did last year (April 17, 2020 to be exact). It’s a positive spin on our little locked-down-reality from about 14 months ago.

Enjoy!

Keegan Academy Proudly presents the following Major Awards:

High School Student of the Month – Senior MK

After 5 weeks of shelter in place and having his entire last semester of High School upended, he remains positive while navigating multiple AP and Honors classes.  MK is keeping up his rigorous workout schedule of a senior track athlete all while missing the camaraderie of his teammates and coaches. He is missing time with his friends, his driver’s license freedom and paycheck. We are so proud of you MK! Keep up the great work.

Middle School Student of the Month – 7th grader FK

After 5 weeks of shelter in place and having his first lacrosse season and second track season cancelled, he remains positive and provides daily trumpet concerts to his shelter-in-place roommates. He has a positive attitude, contagious laughter and completes his chores and homework before beginning his daily video game challenges (aka talking with friends). He is missing active time with his friends, whiffle ball tournaments at the playground, track meets and bike riding freedom through town. We are so proud of you FK! Keep up the great work.

Employee of the Month – 6 year old Lennon

He’s very relaxed, even in these stressful times. He’s willing to stay with you while you work, eat, walk, sleep, really all day long he’ll follow you around. He has brilliant motivational strategies and keeps everyone focused on their tasks at hand by preventing lounging on the couch during the workday.

Educator of the Month – 8th Grade Teacher RK

After 5 weeks of shelter in place, he manages the disappointments of his own goals (coaching softball) and seeing his own kids run track, and play lacrosse while mitigating the sadness of his countless students dealing with the same issues. He embraces the budget cuts and supply issues. He welcomes students from other classrooms to ask questions and interrupt. He’s staying busy working on his goal of growing facial hair. All while grocery shopping for his family. We are so proud of you RK! Keep up the great work.

*Each recipient will receive their choice of dog bone, Lego set or age appropriate beverage to be delivered on a flexible timeline.

when did you know you were old?

I remember the exact moment I knew I was old.

It’s not today, when my youngest child completes elementary school and is heading to High School in the fall. Like you might expect.

I first felt old on a vacation day. I was chaperoning the kindergarten field trip. Two of the students in my group had never been to the zoo before, and they were bursting with excitement. I was too. I used to work at the zoo and I couldn’t wait to show them all around and spend the entire day with my son.

I offered to take a photo of my group. And before I took my camera out of my purse, my son whipped out his brother’s old iPhone (his brand new possession) and took a selfie.

I was not needed. And outdated.

The moment was brilliant and magical. Children smiling and being self-sufficient.

It was the day I first felt “old”. Also, it was the perfect day. Both were true.

And old isn’t a bad word. Any day you wake up is a good day. I am blessed to be old.

Aging is just a synonym for living!