One of my absolute favorite movies of all time is Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. I love the idea of playing hooky with my friends for one day. I love each and every place Ferris visits. I love the entire City of Chicago. Quite honestly, I believe it’s the penultimate bittersweet movie for the way I am feeling in this current pandemic.
If you need a refresher: A sunny day for a high school senior (school is still in session) … he sneaks out and does EVERYTHING I want to do right now…. goes to a Cubs game at Wrigley Field, eats at a nice restaurant, walks through the Art Institute, takes in the beautiful view from the top of the Sears Tower, witnesses booming economic activity at the Chicago Mercantile Exchange, relaxes in a hot tub, swims in a pool, sings and marches in an energetic and crowded parade, walks around downtown Chicago, and just generally enjoys laughter, conversation and the company of his friends.
I am enjoying being authentically me. I have my health, the health of my family, safety, security, a job, groceries, a cozy bed … but man, I am nostalgic for all these places and events we usually are fortunate enough to experience each and every summer. A Ferris Bueller Chicago sightseeing day would really be awesome right now! So would a concert, picnic, playground crawl, a drive-in movie, beer garden, dog park, theatrical performance, anything semi-adventurous!
But I guess the point of the movie is summarized by the iconic line “life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” And thankfully, we have that chance right now; so slow down and look around. Enjoy the life that is right in front of you. Make fun plans for the future, but don’t wish away the present. Life is happening here and now.
Do you have any tips for myself or other readers on how you’re coping right now? Are you nostalgic and grateful for past experiences? Are you grieving your 2020 spring and summer plans? Are you soaking in every moment of calm and stillness, enjoying permission to just be with yourself? Are you lonely? Are you scared? Are you annoyed with your shelter-in-place roommates? Are you taking it day by day?
Note: I drafted this post in 2019, anticipating my son’s graduation. And I wanted to add this note of resilience, and also leave my original comments (below) in tact, as they still share the sentiment I am trying to convey.
You were born under an empty sky when planes were grounded for Sept 11. We paid your deposit to attend college in Milwaukee, Wisconsin on the day of a mass shooting in the same town. And now you complete high school under this cloud of cancellations and sadness due to a global viral pandemic. You have missed signing day, prom, graduation, your entire last IHSA Track season, and saying in-person goodbyes to your friends and teachers. But thankfully, spent this spring healthy with loved ones in a safe home full of groceries and toilet paper. Tragedy has never stopped you, and it never will. Don’t become hard or bitter in a world that keeps trying to slow down your dreams. Follow the light and choose love and you’ll always succeed (and please define success in whatever way makes you happy). Remember: those last messages on 9/11 were all messages of love. The message now is we need each other. Working stronger together in community and helping one another is the only way through this pandemic. And those are the only messages you need to know:love one another. I believe the class of 2020’s unique experiences give them 20/20 vision to see the power of empathy, feel the necessity of community, and understand how at the end of our life acts of love are the only thing that matter. Class of 2020, you will always be #SeniorStrong in my book!
My Dearest Michael,
As you graduate, I realize I have everything and nothing to tell you.
Graduation is a milestone for you, the graduate, that is for sure. But graduation is a milestone for your parents too. I’m beyond proud of you, your hard work, dedication …not only in the classroom, but on the cross country course, at the checkout line at Jewel, and most importantly just being a kind, brave, curious human being.
Graduation is just one day. But it took years of dedication and effort to get here. It’s a glorious symbol of all of that combined effort.
I want you and your friends to know – when things seem stressful, and the world says, this is important, this is urgent, we need you now… please slow down, breathe. Put your hand on your heart and always remember to take care of yourself first before you give to others. You are special.
Today is a day that I, as your mother am so proud of because I’ve known all along how special you are. But today, graduation day, I get to share my pride with the world, in big ways. With decorations, food, drinks, caps and gowns, parties, music, photos that will last a lifetime. And today you are celebrated on a big stage, with pomp and circumstance. With friends and family. Your graduation day is a day a piece of my actual heart gets to walk across stage and my pride beams through not just the crowd, but the universe!
With big dreams just over the horizon. Whether it’s a new job, college, traveling or another adventure…post-graduation life is filled with possibility, dreams, openness, LIFE!
Cheers to new beginnings. Our whole family has had a new beginning this year: a new hip for dad, the start of teenage years for your brother, a new job for me. The list goes on, and I know we’ll each have more beginnings and endings soon.
Your newness is big and bold and maybe scary. It’s a new school, new friends, new teammates, new coach, new challenges, new bedroom, moving out, living on your own for the first time and having a roommate for the first time.
Don’t fear the unknown! Be yourself, you have always risen to any challenge! I believe in you. I’m proud of you. I’m your biggest cheerleader.
It’s been 6 weeks since I began working remote due to the COVID-19 pandemic shelter-in-place order.
I have driven a total of 7 miles to pick up take out from local businesses and deliver some cheer to some girlfriends.
This has now become the longest I’ve been “out-of-the-office”. 6 weeks is a milestone for me, as it’s the length of my two maternity leaves. At least this time I didn’t have to save up enough breast milk in order to go back.
My spirit animals of this coronavirus seem to be the sloth, turtle and snail. Life is moving rather slow. Sometimes these 6 weeks feel like an eternity. But right now, I sit here thinking, where did those 6 weeks go? What have I done with 6 weeks of an empty schedule and blank calendar?
So…. I looked back to see what I have been doing…
The first 2 weeks I was working 2 jobs and still transitioning to a new department. Those were a stressful, painful blur. I’m so thankful to have only one manageable job right now. And very grateful for a paycheck, I do not say that lightly, I can’t imagine the stress of the some 25% of Americans who are out of work right now.
The bottom line is I’m so insanely privileged … I have stayed safe at home and…
organized the office, laundry room, closets, basement so we all have a clean and tidy place to work/study
attended multiple zoom calls with friends
participated in 8 virtual book clubs
read 31+ books so far (my favorites are Untamed by Glennon Doyle and Untethered Soul by Michael Singer)
walked to my polling place and voted in the primary election
sent cards and virtual birthday love to multiple friends
watched countless virtual concerts, attended courses, classes, personal development workshops and facebook live / instagram live interviews
played tennis, pickle ball, poker, badminton, basketball, chess, monopoly, shuffleboard, ping pong, foosball and darts
napped twice
self-published one book and several blog posts
created 4 photo projects (ABC’s of coronavirus book, Graduation 1-18 yearbook for my oldest, Birthday gift and Mother’s Day presents)
built legos and forts and assembled puzzles
listened to probably one hundred podcasts
watched movies on cable, netflix, amazon prime and disney plus
read 74+ new training documents for work
gave 3 below-par haircuts
submitted our story and photo to be included on Cubs opening day video tribute
attended 2 writing workshops with Story Exploratory
continued my Sunday weekly writing dates with Jen
donated money to first responders, dinner for health care workers, PPE contributions, and 2 gofundme’s for local untimely parent deaths (unrelated to the pandemic), animal care, etc…
took photographs of opossums and pelicans!
received banana bread, flowers, door decoration, special notes and a bottle of wine from sweet friends
ordered masks
helped the children with their e-learning
proofread scholarship essays
shopped for MSOE gear, patio cushions, books and a printer
decorated eggs and celebrated Easter
meditated and attended yoga virtually (it’s not the same when the trumpet sounds from the next ‘office’ interrupt you)
experienced virtual signing day with my son
spent money intentionally at my favorite local businesses
wrote poems and created graduation gifts for my 6 favorite HS seniors
baked cookies, cakes, banana bread, muffins, applesauce, and generally cooked more than I have in years (and that’s not an exaggeration)
walked miles and miles in my own neighborhood, really enjoying the sidewalk art
re-watched the Cubs 2016 world series, and as much as I miss baseball, I am retired from sports reruns, it defeats the whole point
My favorite moments were:
children laughing
sun shining on my face
quiet stillness before the rest of my ‘co-workers’ wake up
Week 1 – the empty calendar created madness: a fury of finishing all the projects, cleaning, preparing Week 2 – embracing all the feelings: writing & creating until I just can’t anymore Week 3 – acceptance and re-organizing Week 4 – consuming: books, podcasts, movies, concerts, food Week 5 – focus: trying to remain productive and patient with interruptions Week 6 – finding a new normal: a schedule and some semblance of routine…
I need to stop keeping track now. It’s not healthy. I’m not going to continue to compare myself, my productivity, my successes or accomplishments. I will seek safety, sun and laughter. I will read and spend time resting and thinking. My priorities are merely health, family, work. And I’m going to let the rest go!
I think this is our new normal for quite a while. I’m trying to comprehend it, while also letting all of the disappointments go. I thank you for letting me process some of my feelings on here, with you.
We don’t have to make sense of all of it. We all deserve light, love and peace in our life, especially in the midst of all of this uncertainty.
Let me know in the comments how you and your families are doing during this pandemic. I wish you health, safety and sanity.
What does infectious mean to you? This virus is clearly infectious…
But I have been told my laugh is too.
Fear, hope, giggles, joy and smiles are all contagious. The roar of the crowd energizes the player on the field. When one dog barks, it seems the whole neighborhood catches their energy and a symphony of canines erupt. The light from one candle doesn’t dim when it spreads to others. This coronavirus doesn’t seem to lose steam either. And yet, it can’t move itself. Humans are the host and are responsible for the virus transportation. We are unknowingly infecting others. We are the container it resides in, and it spreads, sometimes without much effort from us. Rather like drops of water, glitter and sand travel with you, even when you try to not bring them along.
This stillness, slowness of the world right now is amplifying our life choices. Each emotion is so much deeper, more raw, than ever before. Love is felt more deeply, but so is loneliness.
I took a walk with just my camera and the sun. I encourage you to have a feast of the senses during this bizarre time. You can hear and sense much more than you can photograph.
Life is happening all around you.
Be present. feel my fingers cooler than the rest of me the small piece of hair that fell out of my ponytail irritates my nose hear different languages being spoken the kindness of a mother answering endless questions from her toddler footsteps of the teenager working towards his mile PR a faint car on the road a few blocks away the tickle of the first few drops of pollen in my nose the leftover dry autumn leaves crackling in the wind many more species of bird songs than I could see with my eyes a beagle howling
My life feels so crazy I find myself needing stillness, yoga, meditation; but when you take a step back you can see that all you really need is yourself and you don’t need any of that other stuff to balance out the busyness. I am finding deep meaning in this pause. I believe this is a message to all of us on Spaceship Earth to slow down, figure out what matters, grieve losses, take time for the important things, and take a deep breath.
We are all grieving so much normal. Overnight we were ripped out of our old life and throw into this new undefined one. We are grieving routine, work, money, plans, gathering for worship, the loss of shared experiences, and the simple loss of touch. We miss celebrating the milestones. We are grieving the loss of life. And we are running around urgently trying to deserve the life we have. Don’t compare yourselves to one another. We are all in different stages of grief. And the heaviness of not knowing when this will end is felt in every one of our cells. The most intense loss is the one YOU are experiencing.
This journey through a pandemic is deeply personal. We are all experiencing this global event together, but in our own way. I am consuming as many books (in any form: paper, e-book, audiobook, 24 so far…), podcasts, and online concerts/bookclubs/experiences as I can. I am writing and creating photographs, blog posts, books, etc. I have been keeping a written journal and photographs to document our daily activities, to help try and avoid these days from blending in to one another. Which is especially hard when your bedroom and office are one in the same.
My youngest son is tethering himself to spatulas, hammers, nails, pencils and paper and cooking and creating as many wood and art projects as he can. My oldest son is running like he’s Forrest Gump, applying for scholarships, daydreaming of what lies ahead, and numbing to movies and video games. My husband is the organizer; shopping, cleaning and controlling what he can.
The #alonetogether is front and center at our house. When I open my windows, the three neighbors I can hear are all speaking different languages at home. To the West – Spanish, to the East – Tagalog, and to the South – Russian. I can’t ask my neighbors what to do? It’s another sign from the universe: Stop asking people for directions in a life they’ve never seen. There is no map, we are all pioneers.You have all the answers you need right inside you. Follow your heart. Shorten the gap between the thinking and the doing. Go out and help, donate, volunteer, run, work, rest, shower, stretch, follow your dreams, do the next thing.
Live your life. Feel all the feelings. Be fully present; but don’t get stuck here … let wonder and curiosity infect you.
This is not the situation we want, but the situation we have. Let it be fertilizer for your growth.
Dr. Adam Dorsay
GOOD NEWS: We don’t have to sink or swim. We can just float!
if you’re feeling overwhelmed right now … please be kind to yourself.
Be good company to yourself. Do some inner work, refelction, journaling, and find out more about yourself. List what you hope to change in your life (and what you want to stay the same) when this pandemic slows down and the virus is contained.
If you need a mantra for meditation, I find repeating this phrase over and over is really powerful
“I choose love”
both traditionally at the beginning and end of the day, but also DURING the day when I am running out of patience or feel stress building somewhere in my physical body.
Analyzing your life doesn’t allow you to control it. I’m allowing myself to grieve my losses. And I’m finding meaning inside myself and my own choices.
Meaning isn’t found in the tragedy or pandemic.
Remember: YOU’RE STILL YOU. No matter what has changed recently.
Don’t seek more
more money, more responsibility, more possessions, more …
Create and honor your time, space, moments and memories in your life.
Seek peace, calm, a deep breath.
Seek light.
Light cannot be defined.
Light is not a certain shape or color.
Light is this moment.
Right here.
Right now.
Be here now.
Be light.
My body, molecules, atoms, neurons, are here at this space and time. My light, my spirit, my soul, my love is what makes me ME. Celebrate the light inside you. We are stardust packaged in skin, the light we are seeking has always been within us.
My light is the most important part of my life. Meditate, pray, be still with the light within you. Harness your power, purpose, connection.
Dear Sun,
How do you have the energy to shine and be beautiful
when you are new in the morning?
I hide in your shadows and draw energy from you before I begin.
I am solar-powered.
Dear Candle,
How do you find balance?
I see you flicker and then go right back to center.
You can light one million other candles and not give away your own light.
You save me from cursing the darkness.
Light is more than words
Light is universal
Light is fluent in all languages there is beauty in everything; follow the light, the stars, the sunrise and sunset, the light in someone’s eyes when they smile
What is my light telling the world?
STOP like a traffic signal
EMERGENCY like an ambulance
WARNING as a police car
CELEBRATION like fireworks in the night sky
HOLIDAY is eminent like a string around a tree
ROMANCE like a single flame at an intimate table for two
CAUTION resembling headlights from oncoming vehicles
FAME like movie lights
A TRIP AROUND THE SUN like birthday candles
READY like the cursor blinking at you from the blank backlight page
ON like an appliance ready for use
QUIET like a phone recharging on the counter
MYSTERIOUS like the sexy moonlight hovering above
FLEETING like a curved spectrum of colors coming from a rainbow
What message am I sending with my light?
What does your light say about you?
Light is a VERB
Don’t ask for light. Be Light.
Seek wonder, follow your curiosity. Do what lights you up
Light is energy; never created or destroyed.
Lighten up, let stress go.
Become so full of light that it spills out of you into the world.
People who shine from within don’t need the spotlight.
It’s ok to question the darkness, but then listen to the light.
Don’t be afraid of the shadows.
The dark places where growth happens.
Shine a flashlight on what is important.
Darkness isn’t always bad when you’re sleeping, when you have a headache or when you’re watching a movie darkness helps you focus and clam down
Darkness is like silence and white space on a page. Darkness gives room for the light to really shine. Darkness is the resting notes in music, a meditation.
Light is universal.
Light speaks all languages.
Share kindness, love, light.
Life is a shared experience.
You don’t have a light, you are light.
We are all broken in places, that’s how the light gets in and out. Prayer and meditation is how you control your light, your soul, how you determine what you’re meant to do.
Our body is like a lightbulb, and our soul is the electricity that powers it. And that light energy was here before our body was, and it’ll be here after our body is gone.
I am a flashlight
shining light
I might run out of batteries, or be pointed in the wrong direction to be helpful
I am abundant, grateful, full of light and shining inside of me and into the world.
Let the light and truth illuminate you, not burn you.
Light brings us together, when so much in the world tears us apart. If you look for light in the world, expecting to find it, you will.
PS 💕
Ways to look at light from the book AWE by Keltner
Spotlight – immediate actions (make a cup of coffee, find your glasses) – narrow focus
Starlight – longer term goals, projects – when you feel lost look up at the stars and remember where you are headed – write a book, be a good parent
Daylight – how do you know you want to be a good parent? Without time to reflect you can’t figure out who you are. If you lose this you stop making sense to yourself, you don’t have the mental space to create a story about who you are.
Stadium lights – see each other, hear each other, work together – collective goals
Sure, this coronavirus has takenso much, and there are so many bummer-moments, cancelations, expenses, etc. that we all wish weren’t true. But I am reframing. I am taking a few moments to count the blessings this pandemic has brought to our lives. If only to give it a little less power.
I am grateful for the reminder to slow down. To appreciate …
my health love
a deep breath
time
memories
ideas
light mindfulness
dreams
friends who check on one another
our home
a hot shower
the excitement of starting a new book
the taste of my favorite food, I am really savoring each bite making meals last
coffee
fresh produce
cuddling up with my family and watching movies
a washer and dryer in my house, and the smell of fresh laundry
a working oven and stove
utilities
fresh water
sunshine coming through the window (and being able to go outside!)
time to reflect and reexamine my priorities/habits/spending
an empty weekend calendar
appreciating past memories and anticipating future adventures
past trips and lessons we’ve learned
distraction from the everyday stress
ability to focus on what really matters
music
candles
baking
decluttering and minimizing
realizing the abundance we already have
communication practice/patience with others while we all deal with this fear differently seeing in real time the effect we have on one another and how all humans are connected
time to be mindful, just stand at the stove and stir the pot, just stand in the shower and feel the hot water
if you don’t have a real problem your mind invents one, it’s refreshing to have the space and clarity to clear away the “problems” that don’t matter
I long for clarity, peace, light, joy, love.
I am most sad/scared/afraid for…. the people who have compromised health, pregnant women who have to go to the doctor and expose themselves and their baby, and children who don’t have a safe home and are now stuck without the safety/security/routine of school and teachers and friends to get them through the day.
I want to apologize to the HS seniors, who may have to miss their prom or graduation. You’ve worked so hard and we’d love to see you celebrate, fingers crossed for an uneventful end of the school year.
And to the people cancelling weddings, bar mitzvahs, special vacations and other celebrations of life and love… we feel your deep pain and I know nothing can make it up to you, so I won’t pretend to have comforting words.
I am going to consider this time period my quarantine meditation.A chance to pay attention to the in-between moments; what LIFE is really made of.
Caution: use the internet to inspire you, not anesthetize you or feed your fear.
I’m going to take as much of this time as I can to write. To create.
The opposite of being destructive is being creative. So create something that only you can uniquely make. Use a paintbrush, pencil, hammer, garden. Creativity brings us together when so many things try and tear us apart.
Stay safe. Stay healthy. Stay kind to one another. We’re all in this together.
are you stir crazy? quarantined? need some ideas on how to stay positive and entertained without breaking the bank?
there’s no reason to panic, but it’s smart to stay in if you can. (and if you can’t because you’re a doctor, nurse, police officer, fire fighter – THANK YOU)
here is a quick post with 29 ways to keep the boredom/anxiety/drama at bay…
organize photo albums
clean your house, catch up on laundry
kitchen science experiments
create! make cards, gifts, think of others …
cook
nap
binge watch something
call an old friend
call a new friend
do 20 jumping jacks, 20 push ups
catch up on work projects
research the truth on upcoming elections and decide who you will vote for
give yourself an at-home spa day (facial, paint your nails…)
rent a book from the library (kindle app is free, lots of libraries also have overdrive or hoopla apps where you can download books for free without leaving your house)
clean out your closets and make a pile of items to donate, remove items you don’t use anymore and don’t fit
play card games and board games
teach your old dog a new trick
sketch, doodle, draw, paint
light a candle and take 10 deep breaths (or do a guided meditation)
map your family history on ancestry/family history website
open a bottle of wine and tell funny stories
take some selfies with your child(ren)
start the novel/blog/letter you always wanted to write
schedule your annual physical/eye doctor appt (for a few months from now)
plan some fun menu items for birthdays and special occasions later this year
start a gratitude journal
download some new music and have a dance party
Some days the option to work remotely is a blessing, but, it would also be pretty awesome to just have a day off...I could for sure fill my day(s) if I didn’t have to work!
What will you and your people be doing during this disruption?
What a gift the universe has provided us, February 29.
I have thought a lot about this. I have created “my perfect day.” And I’ve treated it like a day spent by myself, but in reality I’d actually love an extra day with my husband and children.
Sleep in (no alarm clock)
2 cups of coffee on a balcony/deck/poolside somewhere sunny and still
Write
45-minute meditation on my Unplug App (I do the short ones all the time, but 45 min feels so indulgent!)
Takeout Chinese food in my pajamas while watching my favorite movie: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
Extra Hot Bubble Bath with a glass (or two ) of my favorite wine
Sleep in a giant king-sized bed and my cozy pajamas
What if you had a secret day, no one could take it from you, not one single minute. What would you do? How would you spend it?
I’ve decided, why save all of this for one day? I’m going to live my year spreading it out. Doing some of this each day/week to spread the joy throughout the year. I’m going to make time in my daily life for things I crave if I just had “more time”.
Looking at my dream list of activties, I can fit some of this into my life right now, and what a gift that truly is!
Happy Leap Day!
Enjoy this extra time on Planet Earth! How are you spending it?
you magically make 3am bright
your fresh, pure flakes muffle the world the universe accepts your invite to slow down, stillness is all around you blanket my little part of the world, allowing a new beginning, a chance to start over if we want to you provide the pieces for unlimited imagination of forts and men, who bear your first name your flakes gently fall on my runny nose, I pause, look up and wonder if you are alive, as I feel you emit your own energy
you reflect my thoughts as you reflect the moonlight
you insulate the stillness I have curated in this busy world
The Lefty Writer 