a love letter to Krista Tippett

I binged listened to all of the becoming wise podcasts again. 6 hours. Time well spent!

I feel a sense of wonder. My spirit feels more at peace. I realized intimately the connectedness of all things. I feel light.

Listening to Krista speak with her guests, you hear and feel they are genuinely interested in each other. Two people who are fully present.

It’s addictive.

The calming and kindness. The inspiration and insight. The joy and wonder. The wealth of ideas and information light me up inside, in a way words fail to describe.

Hearing other intimate experiences, life lessons, deep senses of purpose, makes my life richer. I deeply enjoy listening to other people’s stories in this special way. Life is too short to only live one life, and on being let’s you live and learn deeply from others.

Book

If you haven’t read her book, listened to her podcasts (Becoming Wise and On Being) or listened to her on Public Radio, I invite you to check out her website and fall in love with Krista Tippett too!

a poem for peace

may world leaders craft and follow a path towards peace

may cooler heads prevail

and conversations solve the problems we didn’t think were solvable

may compassion, empathy and a sense of right and wrong

spread like a virus

may all humans find love in their life, their mind, their words, their actions, their hearts

Happy New Decade

We’ve had 3,652 days this last decade. As I reflect, I realize not every single one of them was fantastic, but most of them were.

be kind be brave be curious — words to live by: Be Kind. Be Brave. Be Curious.

This decade, I had some wonderful memories as our children have experienced most of their childhood, I’ve been lucky enough to gain 5 new nieces and nephews, 2 new sisters-in-law, rescued a dog and celebrated our family’s 100th birthday with all of our friends and relatives.

I was able to experience so many fun events at school, little league games, flag football, soccer, volleyball, basketball games, track meets cross country meets, Halloween costumes, concerts, roller-coasters, Cubs games, Illini games and NFL games.

I been serenaded by a guitar, drums, recorders and a trumpet. I have given and received love from some fun pet hermit crabs, fish and a hamster. We hiked waterfalls, slept in a tree-house. Visited Mexico, Dominican Republic, Bahamas and Canada. And I saw the Cubs win the freakin’ World Series.

I have the same husband, we have the same employers, same college degrees, same address, drive the same Volkswagen Jetta … but I have 2 new tattoos and have read hundreds of life changing books.

With any luck, this next decade will bring my two children beginning (and graduating from) college, a paid off mortgage, a few more Cubs World Championships and will hopefully end in retirement.

A lot can change in 10 years. It’s a valuable exercise to reflect. My three favorite words when reflecting or receiving feedback… what will I stop/start/continue doing with this information?

I pledge this decade to:
STOP consuming excessive sugar
START making exercise a habit
CONTINUE writing & reading

I consider 2019 a success. I simplified my schedule and my life. I published 3 books. I committed to story exploratory and kept up with my blog. I exhibited persistence by applying for 48 jobs and preparing for 8 interviews before I got a job offer. I learned that true friendship isn’t something you earn or are entitled. Friendship is something you GIVE. I spent 2019 following my curiosity, consuming focused, wonder-filled, inspirational content.

I’m not only thankful for the big things (health, my husband and children, a warm safe place to sleep at night, a fridge full of groceries), but the little things too! Time for a quiet cup of coffee, a great podcast for my commute, a text from a friend that makes me smile, sneaking a peak at a rare special moment between brothers.

We spent this decade nourishing our family of four learning, growing, finding ourselves and finding our rhythm as a family.

We gave and gave. Energy, time, volunteering and coaching the children in our little world. Hopefully we made a small difference in our community.

I spent 80% of this past decade working at a job that started out wonderful and exponentially declined. Despite the amount of time I gave this job the last 3+ years, I am proud of my work ethic. I take things seriously and you can count on me.

I’ve come to learn that everyone is special and everyone is insecure. Literally everything in the world needs balance. It’s no fun to not have any drinks and it’s no fun to have too many drinks. It’s no fun to work all the time it’s no fun to not have a job (or feel needed or important or have something that you’re contributing to society like raising children or even just caring for someone in your community). People who don’t have something that’s important to their heart it will break their heart. Everyone needs purpose.

Someone at work just said to me “the sadness has left your eyes”. I hope whatever sadness you’re experiencing, you’re able to control, work on, accept or change. I wish if you have sadness in your eyes, it leaves and ends, just as 2019 is ending.

This new year, new decade, new job is a fresh start. A new beginning. I’m open, ready, grateful, excited for 2020.

The new year is celebrating an ending as well. I tried hard in 2019, I gave it my all. I found some strategies for my life that didn’t work. But I’m learning and growing.

Life is a gift.

I’ll course correct and keep going. Life after all, is in constant motion.

Best Wishes for a NOURISHING 2020 to you and yours!

nourish

What an amazing year. Every month I attended (either in person or virtually) a writing workshop with Story Exploratory. I am so deeply grateful for Jen. I have learned so many wonderful things this year, and not just amazing techniques and skills about writing. But I learned new ways to connect, unlocked personal stories of my own, and grasped just how wonderful writing is, how much I love it and how very much I need writing in my life.

The practice of writing has taught me this year that I don’t want to accomplish everything or have a finished to-do list. I have become more curious. I follow the wonder and am open to new ideas. As we leave this decade and start a new one, the possibilities are endless; what a fantastic time to be alive.

Today we chose our word for 2020.

The word I chose is NOURISH.

I am going to live this year with NOURISH as my intention.

I will nourish my soul by cultivating stillness, quiet, positive energy and gratitude for all that brings me joy.

I will nourish my mind with books, fresh ideas and new experiences.

I will nourish the cells in my body by taking deep breaths and surrounding them with fresh oxygen.

I will nourish the connectedness of all things through the process of writing, making Earth friendly choices and aligning my choices to value those connections. I will notice that even decaying plants nourish the forest and honor that death and endings just mean new beginnings.

I will nourish my relationships by spending quality time with the people I love and striving to become a better listener.

I will nourish my body by decreasing stress, fueling my body with healthy food, drinking water, moving and exercising, getting quality sleep and making time for my body to be spoiled by monthly pedicures.

My body is always working to keep me alive, I will nourish that relationship and love my body back.

I will nourish and respect all life around me by realizing every moment needs to be savored, every moment we are alive is special.

I will nourish habit formation. In the words of Gretchen Rubin “What you do everyday matters more than what you do once in a while.”

I will say NO and NOurish my time and protect it.

As this year comes to a close, I echo Liz Gilbert’s reason for writing: I am here, I took notes. Writing is more than stringing words together, but words matter. I look forward to 2020 where I will undoubtedly find more meaning in the word NOURISH. I am open to what this intention will teach me.

holiday stress

Mandatory holiday traditions, unmet needs, unrealistic expectations … ‘tis the season.

tree

Sharing DNA doesn’t define your family. Real family shares love, dreams, hopes, secrets, wishes, stories and time. If someone hurts you this holiday season, look for the lesson. Learn something, and consider yourself a student of life, and the hurt is just tuition.

We are all still learning. Being a human is hard. Be kind. Forgive. Have grace.

Love is all around, the universe’s wi-fi, keeping us all connected.

What lights your heart on fire, the magic, that’s the GPS and tells you which way to go.

How can we make it through the holiday stress? It’s simple: Follow the MAGIC and Look for the LOVE.

I hope your holidays are Merry!

greta

Greta Thunberg was just awarded TIME MAGAZINE 2019 person of the year.

I can’t even express how joyful this makes me.

She represents HOPE, STRENGTH, MEANING, PURPOSE.

Greta is the penultimate example that one person CAN change the world. Her voice resonates with all generations. She has made a difference these past 14 months not just in spite of her Asperger’s, but I think in part, because of it. Asperger’s helps her speak calmly, truthfully, powerfully. She states facts and doesn’t mince words.

Be inspired by Greta. I urge you to use your gifts, even if you don’t see them as gifts, to go out and make a difference in the world.

What do you love? What hurts your heart? Follow your magic. Ask all the questions, and then GO make an impact in the world.

One person CAN make a difference. You are that ONE PERSON!

P.S. I love you Greta! Keep going. The Earth needs you, your voice, and your passion. Thank you!

mindfulness & grace

We are all human. None of us are perfect, especially me.
I am on a quest to become a better human, by living mindfully.

Living life mindfully is having a love affair of life.

The body is not eternal, but the soul is. The brain will be buried, but memory will survive it. The greatest story is finding out who you really are. Take time to be with yourself. To know yourself. Your true self is who you are when you’re alone. Practice being alone. When you know yourself, you can use your gifts best to serve others. Ask yourself what is really important. And then be courageous and build your life around that answer. Mindfulness is letting your body tell you the answers you already know.

Your dreams can come to you while you’re awake, asleep, daydreaming, meditating, reading…just be open and pay attention to the moment, you never know what dreams will awaken within you.

Any moment we are not attentive to is lost forever.

Nature sounds release hormones which activates DNA segments responsible for healing and repairing the body. It’s all connected. When we align with our true self our muscles relax, pulse slows, heart rate decreases. Our immune system is more efficient, our memory improves. Relationships and connections change the world around us, and change ourselves.

What we consume, we become, light, love, encouragement, inspiration. There are some things you can never have enough of …. memories, dreams, helping people, contributing, spiritual growth, new possibilities, uncovering ideas …

By opening our eyes to other people’s perspectives, we realize that what is good for you is good for me. We are all specs of atoms floating on a sunbeam through space. Every experience, moment of joy, moment of grief, changes the shape and neurological pathways in our brain, and we can never go back to how it used to be. Our job is to use your own internal guidance system and navigate our human life.

What is the secret to a happy life? Mindfulness. Stillness. Awareness. This moment IS life, life can’t be found anywhere except right now.

Give your attention to what’s right in front of you. Try really listening to your loved ones. Make sure you’re not stuck in your own thoughts, or planning how you will respond to what they’re saying. Just listen.

The nitrogen in your DNA, iron in your blood, calcium in your teeth, the carbon you ate for breakfast, it all came from a collapsing star. We are all stardust. Isn’t it amazing that you are reading this?

Being mindful helps negate the fact that life is so fragile, precious, quick. You might as well pay attention to what’s going on around you while you’re here.

LOVE

Look at the world through your heart, not your eyes.

The entire universe is propelled by love.

artistic blossom bright clouds

Imagine love as the universe’s wifi.

Our bodies, hearts and minds are the vessel to accept and send out love to and from the universe.

Love is the unseen electricity that keeps everything running.

Love is universal and individual,

concrete and abstract.

Love transcends space, time, dimensions.

Love travels through you while you’re awake and stays with you in your dreams.

Love is the coincidence of kindness.

The energy that constantly flows and connects us.

The path for helping, forgiveness, hope and appreciation.

Tune into the love of the universe, use your body as an antennae.

Love is the language we all speak.

Love is so much bigger than our thoughts, feeling and actions.

Love is powerful, heavy, robust,

forceful, steady, substantial, vigorous.

Love is the strongest force, and the most gentle touch.

We can harness and share love like it’s our superpower.

Be curious and brave. Open your heart to wonder, messages, energy …and let love flow.

Love moves you, shapes you, makes you feel alive.

Love is as big as the cosmos, and as small as a piece of your heart.

Love is people, places, photographs, feelings, smiles and laughter.

The mirror for you and the world; what hurts one of us, hurts all of us.

Love is stillness, gratitude, joy, wonder, faith, play.

If you can’t find love in your day, help someone; be the love you’re seeking.

Nourish yourself with beauty, light, inspiration and breath.

Be so full of love that if someone bumps into you, it spills into the world.

You can love people who live far away, flowers, ice cream, dolphins and strawberries.

You are not just the atoms, cells, bones, skin, emotions, senses, experiences, accomplishments, mistakes, your body or your soul. You are the love that connects it all together.

Love expands past the moon and stars.

Love is the changing color of the leaves,

fluffy snow falling on your face,

a flower beginning to bloom,

sand between your toes.

Love is the greenhouse for our seeds to grow.

Love is the triumph of the human spirit.

Love is the truth you live each day.

Love is a gift.

Give love generously. Accept love generously.

Love is Thank You. Please. You’re Welcome. I’m Sorry.

Dancing, singing, rainbows.

Love is your voice, your art, holding hands.

Love is the lens through which we see the world,

birds singing a chorus in the wind, the warmth of the sun splitting and spraying through the fluffy clouds.

Love is listening.

Love is time.

Love is solving problems that break our hearts.

Love is peace and calm, fast and loud.

Love is a guitar serenade.

Love is magic, miracles, moments and memories.

Love is found in the space between the notes in the music.

Love is a thread that runs through us all. Love is energy that flows at different rates and speeds. It permeates, bends, moves. We share, experience and understand love in our own way. Love must remain in motion, it flows downhill like water. Your heart has enough love for you and everyone around you.

Love is inside us. Love is all around us.

When we feel separate; love is the fabric of connection.

Love is fluent in silence and conversation.

Love is not ordinary; it’s mystery, poetry, meaning, purpose, grace.

Love is the only truth. Believe love is all around.

Love a new book, an old book, the planet, one another. Fall in love with your dreams.

Always love yourself. Love was here before you. Love is part of you. Love will be here after you.

Love is the beginning, the ending, the answer to every question.

Love is real, not perfect.

Love is home. Love is enough.

Love is you. Love is me. Love is the universe.

Love lasts longer than forever.

Attention is the Currency of Love

Bucket List (rebrand to want-to-do-list)

writing

My life is much more travel channel than boarding pass. One way I trick myself into experiencing the world is to follow the hashtags or accounts of places I want to visit on Instagram. It’s my alternate Plan B in case I never get to cross them off. This summer I was lucky enough to cross off Niagara Falls, Canada from my Bucket List.

My Current Bucket List Includes:

Stand Up Paddle Board in Stockholm, Sweden
Enjoy a Beer at Sean’s Pub in Ireland (oldest bar in Europe)
Stand beneath General Sherman (largest tree) California
Hike the Grand Canyon & Watch the Sunset
Stargaze at the Blue Ridge Star Park, North Carolina
Hike to the Quietest Place in the US; Olympic National Park, Washington
Camp at Yosemite National Park
Climb the Big Bear Dunes in Michigan
Author & Publish a picture book

Sunday mornings my whole house sleeps in. And for the past few weeks I have a standing date with my friend at Starbucks. Today she couldn’t make it. So I’m in my PJs on my couch instead.

I am writing this list in real quiet, not quiet where I have to start the dishwasher and washing machine and be productive and multitask before I allow myself to write. But just sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee and listening to the rain while I gift myself this time.

It feels so indulgent.

But it also feels like hard work. This weekend I have already cleaned my whole house, mowed the lawn, cooked more than I have in months, caught up on laundry/dishes and gotten the children everywhere they needed to be. And this morning I had to test a software launch for my day job. I’ve given everything I needed to, to everyone else that needs me. I’m tired, but I also have this promise to myself, and if I start breaking those promises, my dreams will never come true. So I’m up. Early. Writing. And I have coffee. And it’s glorious.

Since one of my bucket list items is publishing a book, better take a break from my blog and go do that!

In all honesty, by the time I finished this short blog post, one child started playing loud shooting video games in the next room, the dog is currently staring at me because I’m ignoring him, I spilled my coffee all over my notebook, I tried to “enhance my indulgent writing experience” with a drop of essential oils on my wrist which just made me chronically sneeze, and while I was grabbing kleenex, I did in fact start the dish washer and washing machine…

writing2

the key

Tonight I am turning in this key.

I have had it on my key chain for 10-years.

key2

Annually, for the past decade, I have run for an elected position on a local 501c3 non-profit board of directors. And tonight, my name is not on the ballot. My children are too old to participate now, and it’s time to let the new generation join in.

This key represents responsibilty, hard work, time and energy. This key has unlocked bathrooms, opened and closed concessions, opened press boxes and turned on scoreboards. Along with this key, I have carried my MBSA notes, ideas for improvement, meeting minutes and upcoming agendas with me daily, as this position is always on my mind. Being on the MBSA Board of Directors has been a part of my life so long, my friends are genuinely concerned about what I am going to do with my “free time”.

I hope I have made a difference these last 10-years. I have spent time, energy, blood, sweat and tears trying to make the organization and the fields a fun and safe place for hundreds of children to play baseball and softball.

I hope I haven’t just impacted the players, but also their parents, our community sponsors, the umpires/grounds crew that were employed there, the wonderful coaches who volunteered and the whole Mundelein community.

We have moved from paper registrations, weather phone hotlines and raffle tickets to a much improved website. We built the Red Monster, passed out Halloween Candy and marched in parades. We have had important votes and I had a seat at the table; my voice was heard and I voted the way my heart led me, to do what’s best for the most children.

I gained experience, skills, networking and friendships. I have given it my all. Because I believe sports matter. Sports are a great metaphor for life and a way to teach character. Practices and games are a common way for individuals and teams to get better, work hard and achieve any goal.

Mostly I’m thankful for all the time I got to spend outside with adorable children, especially my own.

And as far as all this new “free time” I am going to have…I will spend some time applying for new jobs or laying in a hammock or listening to podcasts. And I hope to write more, and use my gym membership, my library card and my dog park pass until they’re worn out.